God kept reminding and showing me for years that I was operating in two different dimensions. I could not figure out what the two were until two months ago. He revealed to me that I was battling between the ego and the soul.
Four years ago on Tumblr, I fell in love with a quote that said “ Starve the ego and feed the soul!” It spoke volumes to me. The only problem was that I was unfamiliar with how to starve my ego and feed my soul.
Two months ago, God brought that same quote to me I seen on Tumblr to me again. It helped me remember what I was fighting, and I began to explore the aspects of the two terms.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Ego as the self especially as contrasted with another self of the world. Freud describes the ego to be the psychological component of the personality of a person that’s driven by our conscious decision making. Many would also consider Ego as Pride. The characteristics of Ego are serve yourself, seek gratification, believe that life is a competition, preserve yourself, looking outward for answers, having the feeling of lack, mortal, drawn to lust, seek wisdom, and seek to be filled. The keyword for ego is me.
Soul is defined as a person’s total self or the moral and emotional nature of an human being. The soul is considered to be the core part of an individual. The characteristics of the soul is to serve others, seek inner authenticity, realizing that life’s a gift, preserve others, look inward, feeling of abundance, eternal,drawn to love, recognize that self is wisdom, and eternal wholeness within. The keyword to the soul is we.
After exploring on the two different dimensions, I began to notice that much like myself and the world were driven by ego existing things especially during the holidays. We buy things to feel for-filled inside, which is an example of operating with the ego. In order, to break the two away God allowed me to do it in these steps:
1. Separating The Two
We all know that we cannot heal what we have not identified as an issue in our life. I began to recognize that I was using the ego as tool of protection from my hurt of the past. I was so invested in that tool that I was unaware that my ego was an issue because some of my upbringing that was produced from the ego of others. In reality, ego is just a barrier that blocks you from operating in the authenticity of self (Soul).
Nehemiah 8:10(NIV) states, “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
Do not grieve over what God wants to remove within because your strength lies within him! It’s a long process.
2. It’s Digging Time
Once I began to separate the two it was easier for me to identify which dimension I was operating in. Since my goal was to operate more in the soul, I knew I needed to starve the ego. It was also time for me focus more on feeding my soul, which would strengthen it! The way I starved my ego was to identify what in my life was giving it life and bringing it into my reality. I realized my pain in life was what produced my ego! Ways to starve it was to heal from the past hurt and to pray to God.
2 Corinthians 13:5-9 (NIV), “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test. Now we pray to God that you will not do anything wrong—not so that people will see that we have stood the test but so that you will do what is right even though we may seem to have failed. For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth. We are glad whenever we are weak but you are strong; and our prayer is that you may be fully restored.” You must be ready to hear the truth about yourself and allow God to complete the work within.
3. Work At Achieving Your Goal
I can admit this is a difficult step to do because you have allowed yourself to be healed, which means you have to now unlearn old habits that were ego driven. It was difficult because I had to control my old habits while adapting to new habits of the soul. My functioning in this change was what opened the door for many tests to occur. This last step is a continuing process because we are always unlearning habits and perspectives of the world. I have to feed my soul with the word of God, positivity, and prayer. God is a God of all and of quality. Don’t just pray more but allow yourself to go deeper in prayer.
Philippians 4:6-9 (NIV) states, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
Prayer is what keeps me aligned to my purpose and the process! The process of battling between the ego and the soul is a long one and it cannot be achieved unless God goes before you to do the work. This is when humility comes in. God will be right beside you when the test come and he will go before you to direct your path. So far, I have gained freedom from self, where I no longer allow myself to step in my own way.