5 Toxic Behavior Cycles Affecting Your Relationship with Others & Yourself

     There are many toxic behaviors that many tend to believe they are normal survival tactics for their life. They are accepted and followed among others because it taught others how to function in a dysfunctional situation. For some reason, we do not want to change our toxic behavior until life causes us to do so.

  Many say we are habitual creatures, but I believe that it’s the fear of the unknown and I healed trauma wounds that keep us stuck in a broken record Called life. It the toxicity of our ego that benefits from because we want to hide behind our flaws, our mistakes, and our sins that are doing more harm than good.

Some of the toxic behavior we have developed was built off of other’s people’s sorrow and pain and those of our own. What we all truly want is love, peace, respect, and a place to call home.

  Instead of obtaining the real aspects of the four attributes listed above, we would rather substitute them for material possessions and people who show us superficial beliefs, behavior, and emotions towards us.

  We accept less because many do not believe that we deserve more. We settled for people who show us less than what we deserve and who are willing to give us nothing but lessons instead of a blessing. Here 7 toxic behaviors cycles that are stunt your growth spiritually:

1. Know It All

Proverbs 18:2 CEV, “Fools have no desire to learn, instead they would rather give their own opinion.”

  A person who knows all will never have enough room to grow as an individual. Feeding off your own knowledge and yours alone can be very dangerous. We are all spiritual beings living a human experience. (Deepak’s Chopra).

  The “know it all” behavior is relying on your own understanding and beliefs, where we tend to call it a doctrine. The behavior comes from the distrust of other’s opinions leading us to good, so we learned to rely on ourselves too much. Remember there is a balance for everything.

Now, everyone values their own opinion because they adapted a concept that they can do no wrong. This is toxic because we all make mistakes and we can be narrow-minded especially when it comes to discovering something that uncomfortable or unfamiliar.

  We must learn to trust others and pay attention to our intuition rather than our intelligence. Not everything in life is logical. There many things we can not explain or have an answer. Guess what it is ok, but with God’s trust that it will all work out.

2. Being Fearful

‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:18‬ ‭CEV‬‬ , “A real love for others will chase those worries away. The thought of being punished is what makes us afraid. It shows we have not really learned to love.”

There are so many things and people around us who are constantly reminding us that we are not safe and losing hope for our future.

Living in fear is very toxic, yet so many of us feel so comfortable to do because we fear change. We fear that nothing in life with ever get better because our trauma wounds have convinced us that it won’t. Fear is used to control us and stop off from moving in the direction that he needs us to move in.

  If things do not look like what we imagined for ourselves we will begin to lose faith and begin to depend on our own understanding. When we fear, we lose all hope around us and gravitate to behavior that stunts our growth and those around us.

  Fearing others who are different or who we are unfamiliar with is very toxic. We allow fear to stop us from learning from others and rely on our own biases of others. This where rumors start. Many say “Money is the root of all evil, but I believe that fear is. Fear stops us from loving one another. Love and fear cannot coexist with one another.

3. The A.d.s Attack

(Anxious, disappointment & Sorrow)

  The term ads are used to describe advertising for business, products, or services to the public or potential customers.

The A.d.s attack When dealing with the public or others it is quite easy to feel anxious, disappointed and sorrow which usually comes from the failed expectations, excitement, or fear. Being anxious, living with disappointment, and sorrow stops you from enjoying life within itself.

   Where it is ok to experience these emotions and learn from them. It is very toxic to live with them, where they become apart of your life.


  Assumptions are the worst but they are also quite common among those with distrust issues. Assumptions are toxic cycles that allow us to consider something that is not logical or true. Assumptions are perceiving something to be true without any proof.

  This is toxic behavior because assuming adds trauma and drama to your life and the lives of others. It is always best to use the wait and see approach before jumping to conclusions. Ensure you follow your intuition thou.

5. Insecurities

    Insecurities are is another toxic cycle that many are buying into and calling it acceptable. Insecurities are having a lack of confidence and anxiety about self. This a toxic cycle because your insecurities will always stop you from relying on intuition and it allows you to fall for anything.

Insecurities prevent you from living with integrity, which helps you stand your guard when uncertain situations arrive.  Insecurities are toxic for you and those you chose to be relationships with because you feel that you are never enough or incomplete. This is a false concept within itself. You are enough and worthy.

6. Unappreciative

  Gratitude is everything but it can be hard to show gratitude when all of the odds are against you. Many would describe out society to be unappreciative of the people and the things they currently have.

  Being unappreciative will always have you searching for more when you are surrounded by abundance already. They say the “ grass is always greener on the other side”. It is not until you figure out that the other side is not authentic. You should appreciate what you have because you have enough to survive or thrive it’s just up to you to decide what you would rather do. There is really no such thing as more is better because everyone’s capacity is different.

7. Manipulation

   We all want what we want when we want it.  Manipulation affects your relationship with others and self by creating distrust based on your intentions of searching for a way to self serve.
As long as the flesh is fed, everyone around you is fine. Wrong. This is very toxic because you are creating a cycle of manifesting self-centered relationships. Self-centered relationships should a relationship with self because you are treating the other person as they are not important of your reciprocal love. Being honest, if I chose to do evil. I would be good at it too. At the end of the day, it’s not worth the pain, drama, trauma, and karma. There are so many ways to manipulate it is ridiculous. Many people think it’s ok to do because so many allowed the manipulator to get away with it. Do yourself a favor and allow God to save from this toxic behavior cycle.


The truth of the matter is that it is so easy to blame others for the pain they caused us, but it is so hard for us to focus on the toxicity within ourselves. The interesting thing is that your life will only change when making your mind up to do so. Not your family, past relationships with your spouse, or friends. You must do the work yourself. It is time to drop the toxic cycle so you can enter 2020 with a bang with a clean heart, mind, body, soul, and Spirit. You got this! Do not give up on your healing. Love ya xoxo


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