I am going through a transitional moment, where I am beginning to see the results that I prayed for and what I hope for. I am finally at a point in my life, where I can honestly say that I beginning to live my truths, honor the integrity within that pushes me through life, and be persistent with process of becoming the person I always imagined myself to be.
On podcast episode, I posted this month; which was about following your own path. I feel passionate to talk about this subject because it was a hard obstacle to overcome. I was so insecure to the point that I believed in everyone in general and their dreams, but not my own. I could never find the strength, love, and the mental capacity to believe in self, but I always heard God whispering in my ear about self-love. Everyone is talking about self-love but it takes a well-discipline and balanced person to endure the process. I always imagined myself to be fit spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially. A self-sufficient women. It was not for the sake of proving to others, but to prove to self that I was able to accomplish the goals that I knew would bring me true fulfillment and happiness.
I am currently learning the lesson, which is goes along with me accomplishing the goal of being fit spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Is the fact we as people will never forget the wrongful acts of others, but we expect others to forget ours as soon as we forgive ourselves. The unfortunate part is that we may hurt others, but those we hurt are responsible for their own healing. It will take time. I learned this lesson being the victim and proprietor of intense and hurtful situations.
When you think about it from an unhealed perspective, it seems harsh and unfair. The person who hurt you should be held responsible for your pain, which explains our justice system of punishment. When you think from a healed perspective, you see strength and power for self. Thanking God we do not have to wait on others to get permission to heal self.
I am currently thinking about how insecure, reserved, malice I was at times; but man, I was so hurt, broken, and wounded in many areas of my life. I just wanted the pain to stop. not knowing that new pain was coming to set me free. I would hold on to the behavior and the actions of others and not recognizing that I was passing on the same hurt that was done to me. I justified my behavior and actions, but I dismissed, judged, and criticized others for theirs.
I have had a few encounters this week with those I hurt in the past, and it funny to me how people can bring up old aspects of self to see if you really changed or not. They test you by bringing up old behavior from the past or they begin to speak indirectly about situations of the past to see if you are still the same person. I can always feel when others are going to test me. Now, God is teaching how to respond with grace, love, peace, and silence.
I would get so frustrated, but changing my perspective about the situation I can understand now from both perspectives. No one shows up as the person they are truly until they learn to accept self. It seems like the older people get the more they move away from who they are called to be due to the pain and suffering they have endure. The truth is that pain and suffer does change you, and it changes the way you see the world around you. It is a process of undergoing negative self-talk and switching the narrative of your story to positive self-talk.
From personal experience, a person will never believe others can change until they begin to change within self. Our reality represents our thoughts, actions, beliefs, and perspectives. When a person cannot find the strength to alter any of these aspects. They believe in the concept that life will never change or work out for their greater good. The reason is because they haven’t changed.
We as people believe that everything around us must change before we begin to change. I used to think that way, which is what kept me bounded and delaying myself from moving forward with my life. I used to put so much power on others to teach me how to love, laugh, and live. I would depend on other’s opinion to teach me whether I was doing the right thing or not in my life. I know now that the bad habit kept me hostage for most of my life. I was never free because I relied on other’s opinions to control my decision making and to teach me how to walk my true life’s path. The only way to walk your path is to actually to walk it out and live life. With the process of becoming the person vision yourself to be, I learned three important tips:
1.Learn to Treat Yourself with Gentleness
You will begin to learn how to become your own cheerleader to keep you moving forward with the tasks at hand in your life. There will be times in your life, where no one will understand where you are in your life because you are shifting. What used to work against you or use to make you laugh no longer does.
You need to treat yourself with gentleness to stop you from living with anxiety, depression, and fear as your norm. Helps you to sustain the Peace of God that lies within. You are teaching yourself to be patient with self as you are continuing to transition from the old to new. This involves a lot of stretching and uncomfortableness, which is necessary for you to feel confident to show up as self. Being gentle to self tends to activate the power within, which gives you the resilient to push through life struggles. The enemy will use people to produce self-doubt, self-criticism, and fear to help you not to believe in God, self, or the process. Ignore self-doubt, self-criticism, and fear. Begin to speak life to your circumstances and situations through positive self-talk.
2.Your Integrity Matters So Stand Tall
Standing up for your integrity and please people are in opposition to one another. The two cannot co-exist together. One concept teaches you how to be honest and sustain your strong moral uprightness, which produces self-love, respect, and worth. The other concept teaches you how to sacrifice your well-being for the sake of other’s in an unhealthy way, which produces self-doubt, lack of self-confidence, and worth. Standing firm in what you believe in for the sake of being whole within self is integrity.
It teaches you the true definition of unification of how to stand up for self and be a positive example for others to follow. It is not something you intend to happen, but leading by example tends to correspond because you are walking your true path. This inspires others to walk their path also because it is so much fulfilling then showing up as someone else. Integrity assists others to see the virtue that lies within you, which also reflects others that the same virtue that lay within you lies within them also. Stand tall and strong and let integrity speak for itself. You look, feel, and believe in better when integrity become a part of your life.
3.Fight Strongly and Intelligently
Going through the process of accepting self and your true-life path, you will have to learn how to endure and fight to sustain your strength in the Lord to help you to push forward. Life will throw big daggers at you every once in a while, but you have to learn how to fight strongly and intelligently with God. He will always make your crooked path straight. Ensuring that you have all you need and want as long as you are following and living your true-life purpose and path.
Fighting is necessary to win true love, peace, joy, and focus in your life. It will not be handed over easily, which is why many would rather live with the fake than the real because of the work that it requires to obtain, sustain, and maintain is easy. The good thing is that all the positive aspects will help you to live a truly fulfilled life. Teaching you how to enjoy the small things in life, not to focus on what you don’t have, and embrace where and who you are today.
Today is the only thing that counts because it is currently the only thing that exists in your life. The past is gone and the future has not arrived yet. Fight strongly through prayer and stay present at the moment. You fight intelligently by being aware of your surroundings and to always rely on your inner-strength, wisdom, and intuition. Trust yourself to make the best decision for self that with the intention of changing and growing for the good of self and those around you.
So, learning all of this, I am happy with the women I am finally becoming because I found where my strength lies, just how equipped I am to love self and others fully, and how to accept self as I accept others for their flaws and all. I have come to point in my life, where fighting for people to be on my side is no longer a goal but an opposition.