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WisdomWednesday

Overcoming Self-Criticism and Judgement

I am always pushing for self-love, but being honest with myself and you all. Self-criticism and self-judgment tends to take over when things in my life are not going perfectly or when I do something wrong. Self- criticism is when you judge oneself. Self-judgment are thoughts that we hold about oneself and those thoughts are …

WisdomWednesday

Why Does My Emotions Matter?

The definition of an Emotion is a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others (Dictionary.com). As women, how many times have you ignored your feelings to please others to sustain their happiness? How many times have you ignored your feelings because you weren’t ready to embrace or face …

WisdomWednesday

How Do I Begin to Trust in Life Again?

Trust provides security. With so much drama and unpleasant things going on in the world today; many are losing trust in people and the systems around them. The many different things others have used to shape their lives are currently being revamped or destroyed. Trust is lost when expectations are broken. That’s for relationships, the workforce, …

WisdomWednesday

Learning To Walk With Peace in Your Life

Being honest with ourselves, no one likes to experience obstacles, but we have adapted to the fact that obstacles are a way of life. Obstacles come in different shapes or forms which corresponds to the individual’s way of learning in life. The number 13 represents obstacles but usually falls into a blessing in disguise. So many …

WisdomWednesday

Walking The Lonely Road of Your Path

This blog post is for those who have deep soul yearning to walk their own path in life, but have everything in the world telling them they are insufficient, they are not good enough, too old, and too ugly to walk the path that God has asked you walk on. This blog post is for those who are willing to walk their own path, but they are stuck because they are distracted by fear of lack and lost. This blog post is for those who are trying to find strength and the courage to walk a path that no one has walked ever walked on in their family or in their neighborhoods.

My response to that is the sky is your limit. I believe that most of us are walking with depression, anxiety, and constant stress because we are either functioning in realm that we are not meant to walk in or we are living a life that goes against our spiritual path or calling. Many feel that their lives should corresponds to the opinions and the perspectives of others. We must ask ourselves are we living for others or are we living for God. For those who have not fully committed their lives to God, this is for you also because you know that there is deeper calling for your life, but you cannot find anyone around you for guidance or trustworthy enough to do so.

(more…)

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WisdomWednesday

5 Ways To Express Love During The Holidays

This is the best time of the year, but also the most stressful time for many. Holiday season is here, and everyone is currently scrambling around the mall and department stores to figure out new ways to express their love to others with material possessions. Sales are flowing and debt is rising for others to keep up with the Jones and trends that they may not be able to afford. Now, everyone has their different intentions about buying gifts, but I feel what a lot of people are missing today is the true love and joy that holidays are supposed to bring.

I must ask myself and you all was the holidays ever filled with love or joy, or was it just that everyone was agreeing to live fantasy that was always broadcasted on television. Maybe the feel of the holidays isn’t changing because maybe it’s our concept and intentions of self and life that may be time to change for the holidays to fill great again. Our holidays in America have been based on gluttony, greed, jealousy, and pride. It is an honest question for us to ask ourselves what are the purpose of us celebrating Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Year’s, when we are left being broke, stressed, tired, and overwhelmed when the new year hits. (more…)

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WisdomWednesday

5 Ways To Learning To Stay In Your Own Lane

The most difficult thing that I am beginning to understand the concept of is learning to stay in my own lane., where I am learning to follow my own path instead of following someone else’s path. I am beginning to appreciate the person I am beside focusing on all the hurtful things of my past.

I used to have a bad habit of getting distracted by trying to fix other people’s problems except for my own. I would sacrifice my own happiness for the sake of others who were miserable because I have a huge heart of wanting to make others happy. (more…)

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WisdomWednesday

Balancing The Past, Present, & Future

       In the words of Oprah Winfrey, “Living in the moment means letting go of the past and not waiting for the future. It means living your life consciously aware that each moment you breathe is a gift.”

Let’s talk about what many seem to have issue with, which is balancing the past, present, and future. Some of us have faced some difficult situations of the past much like myself, which keeps a lot of us stuck from moving forward.

It would be ideal if I could admit that I have overcome and conquered this issue, but I am still a working progress.  I am a woman who tends to carry things, in fact I am quite good at carrying the weight of life. This is not always something to be proud of, but I am making room to be able to carry prosperous things of life instead of things from my past life that resulted in anger, frustration, lack of emotional support, and any other negative emotions. (more…)

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WisdomWednesday

5 Different ways to Practice Self-Protection

With so much violence and cruel things happening today, we are all looking for some sort of protection from chaotic around us. Instead of walking in fear, it time for us to begin to take some assertiveness in healthy ways to help ourselves and pray for others until they are ready do so. My favorite saying is, “How do you expect to take care of others when you are unable to take care yourself.”

That is what I call a conviction quote. It is time to stop running and began to deal with pain within as Kings and Queens that you are. We want to protect our families, children, friends, and other love ones who we cherish. While, most of us have a heart of gold; where we will jeopardize our own well-being for others, and I believe the best way to do that is start with self. Most of fail to self-protect, which is protection of oneself. In fact, many of us are unaware how to protect ourselves in a productive and effective manners.

Being once subjected to abuse and violence at one point in my life, I thought violence and abuse needed to be a part of my life, so much that I would feel very uncomfortable when it was not a part of my life. Since I did not the feeling of being uncomfortable I would allow or force violence and abuse to be a part of my life. If it was not others hurting me than I made it my mission to hurt myself with negative thoughts, unhealthy eating, reckless spending, passive boundaries, poor self-care, overworked, overwhelmed, worry, shame, regret, guilt, limited thinking, and self-criticism.

When I was hurt or disappointed by life, I always expect others to protect me; but I forgot the main ingredient of protecting myself. It took countless mistakes and wrongful acts for me to begin to self-protect in a healthy matter. To trust yourself, you need to know that you can protect yourself from harmful things the best way possible. Trust within strengthens your self-worth in your calling, life, and purpose in all areas in your life if you decide to practice it. I came up with 5 healthy and nonviolent tips to help you practice self-protection to boost your self-esteem, self-worth, self-love, and self-care in life.

1.Self-Protect Spiritually 

Spiritually, we must think about our flesh. We must work on not allowing our flesh to lead us in wrongful acts that we know are not fulfilling us in ways necessary. The more you give into your flesh, the more you are bounded to its commands. Remember God is your higher power, who direct, guide, instruct, and inspires to do the things he needed us to do. When you are led by your flesh, you have no room for God to grow in your life. You must get to the point, where we began to protect ourselves from negative energy or drama that we chose not to conform you.

We can communicate with others, but we do not have to associate ourselves with their actions in the name of being a friend. Prayer is the way to protect us from the unseen or unknown. Self-awareness and trusting our intuition is what saves us from issues that we do not have to deal with. The more you lean not on your own understand and more on your intuition, in which the Kingdom of God communicate with you through. You will be able to protect yourself from situations, circumstances, and people; who do not have our well-being in their best interest.

2.Self-Protect Against Your Thoughts

Many never take in the consideration that what we consume as far as the news, television shows, media, and conversation all have effect on our thoughts. The funny thing I always hear from others pertaining to the news is that they agree that it is negative, but they feel obligated to watch it because they need to know what is going on around them. As if their intuition and instincts are not enough. We must be careful not to let outdated traditions and customs to control and limit our thinking. It is not saying those customs and traditions were wrong, but they served a purpose at certain moment in time, in which applying those same customs and tradition may not be as influential as before. Whatever we believe in become a part of who we are.

Sometimes whether we agree with it or not. If we believe it manifests. Our thoughts control many things in our lives, which is our healthy, perspectives, actions, behavior, and motives. Many may agree with the quotes that says you are what you think. The best way to practice self-protection with your thoughts is not allowing yourself to be subjective to anything or anyone that disturbs your thoughts that makes you anxious, fearful, or produce overstimulating thoughts.

The interest thing is that many tend to indulge in negative conversations and the media as a sense of connecting with others, but I am here to tell you that there are different ways to connect with others without indulging into things that promote hate, shame, fear, lust, and scrutiny. Your mind is what you feed it, and you are what you believe in. Make sure that your practice self-protection by being proactive in choosing in what you believe in and what is worthy of your attention.

 3.Self-Protect Against Your Emotion

Now, our emotions are a great indicator to teach you what needs to be healed within, so never ignore them because they are significant. I am a fan of emotions, but I am not a fan in allowing your emotions to make decisions for you. I have made countless mistakes of always letting my emotions to create a check for me that I was not ready to cash. Basically, I was not ready for consequence that came with allowing my emotions to control me. Have ever had someone dump their emotions on your and you are left feeling the way they were. I explained in my previous blog post, “Being Mindful of the Energy You Give out.” Our emotions are energy.

We must practice self-protection by being empathic towards others without carrying other emotions as our own. The right way to empathize with others to be present with them in that moment, but detach ourselves or let go. We can pray and we still connect with others, but you must self-protect your feelings so you will not spread those emotions over to anyone else around us. I must practice self-protection with my emotions all the time working with clients.  I allow myself to be present with them with their stories, but send out light to them. Empathize does not mean you have the same reaction as the person telling you the story; but you allow yourself to connect with that person, while practicing active listening and encouragement.

4.Self-Protect Against Your Body (Physical)

Your body is your temple, which means we need to take more consideration in what you place in our bodies. I have struggled with eating the rights foods and staying consistent with it for a while now. It took me to develop illness for me to understand the importance of feeding your body the right foods to fight disease and not allowing food to contribute to my disease. Our body are meant to have natural energy without energy drinks or coffee. We are supposed grab energy from the food we eat.

I noticed the food I enjoyed eating was not giving me the proper nutrition or energy I needed.  I was either bloated, moody, or feeling swollen with water weight. Self- protection is protecting yourself from diseases and illness, many of us think that we must deal with diseases or certain physical health conditions. I know a healer name Jesus and I also know that God placed things here on earth to help heal us or cure us without side effects. I am working hard to try to improve my physical being by becoming self-aware and watchful of what I eat. Self-protection is getting rest also, which will eliminate anxiety, depression, and compassion fatigue. Your body was meant to prosper, but self-protection is also knowing and recognizing what works for you.

  1. Self-Protect Your Finance

Self-protection is figuring out what you are aiming to have in life as far as money goes. Are you ready to open a business or began a hobby? Maybe you want to save for emergency fund? I have learned the hard way that gaining something requires something else in your life to leave. Budgeting and being persistent with budgeting is something the best way to help you get something better in the long run. When you are working for your higher purpose and your family’s you have nothing to lose, but you will gain so much more. Self-protection in you finance is letting go an expense you know you can either do yourself or do without? I had to decide if I wanted to continue to be only a consumer the rest of my life. Self-protection in your finance is saving, budgeting, and figuring out priorities (Needs or wants).

Self-protection requires courage, assertiveness, self-love, and self-worth to understand that you deserve better and whatever God says is better for you. What works for me will not work for the next person and vice versa, which is okay. I must begin to love ourselves in the way, where we self-protection against anything less than what we deserve. These steps require us to be more proactive in that will strengthen, heal, and develop us in ways we never envisioned. Self-protection is not just taking marital arts, self-defense classes, or carrying a weapon for protection. There are many other healthy ways, where we can make the choice to decide to do something positive (shining our light on others).

2 Thessalonians 3:3 (NIV), “But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.” That is all the self-protection you need when you are covered.

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