I was a shopaholic, where I felt I needed to buy whatever caught my eye. Since I was traveling in a lustful stage in my life, every piece of clothing that caught my eye I bought to feel worthy within my presence state of being. If it was not clothing; it was food, and other unnecessary materials.
Since I healed from the feelings of being unworthy and unfulfilled; I was stuck with a lot of clutter in my home. I began to discover that having less was much better than more! It was less stressful, I had less anxiety, there was less maintenance, and I gained peace by just deciding to de-clutter my space.
I couldn’t wait to sit with peace after throwing away the clutter that was meant to leave. The time was coming to let go of what was and began to embrace what is in my life. For the old served its purpose in my life, but now it was time for me to embrace the new!
Being honest with myself, I use to be a bit of a hoarder, which was not as bad like some television shows. Being honest with myself, I had to call a spade a spade and not a heart. I can only imagine how things could have turned out had I continued that cycle.
I had rewards, notes, old pieces of clothing, hygiene products from years ago, and some from elementary school. Living with that clutter allowed me to miss out on sleep and to feel claustrophobic in my own home.
I had to re-evaluate my progress and achievements up too now at the age of 27. Why did I feel it was necessary to keep all of those thing? What value did it have for me? What were my strengths behind keeping this clutter? How would I envision my life with less clutter? Why did I feel that more would fulfill me?
Asking these questions helped me to discovered that growing up with trauma, I wanted to keep the good memories so I would not have to focus on the bad memories. I discovered that I truly enjoyed the small things in life because I held on to things that held significance to me at that presence moment.
I also discovered that I yearn for connection in life, a lot of times keeping souvenirs from trips, special events, and functions meant I treasured life in general. I also learned that I was resourceful and good at record keeping. Discovering my strengths through collecting clutter allowed me to let go of it freely.
Before throwing the clutter out, I discovered that I was still holding onto the clutter because I was still holding onto old good memories. I was also self-sabotaging myself from embracing and experiencing the new in my life. I thought that the past good memories were the only memories I was worthy of having and living.
That concept was keeping me bounded and I was now ready to began to live a life that contained more freedom, love, peace, and stillness. De-cluttering my space meant that my physical space could now correspond to my spiritual space within. I was now able to live in my presence moment with peace and stillness. Sometimes in life in order for you embrace the new; something has to die or it must be given away.
I did not realize how attached I was to my material possessions, and how much they had an hold on my life, finances, and overall well-being. I knew I deserved more and the first step was getting rid of old and making more room for the new was a spiritual, mental, emotional, and financial process.
The final step was clearing out my physical space, which I accomplished this weekend. I am excited to began to live in the newness and noone can stop me from doing it. I have God and Jesus with their Angels protecting, guiding, and directing my steps, which is all I need to enjoy the new in my life.
Thank you Jesus for being who you truly are to me and forgiven me for my sins. I pray whoever is reading this God will blessing you with the desire to de-clutter your life, so you can make more room for God, Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.