The focus of manipulation is control whether it be the person, the situation, or circumstance. Manipulation is a play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one’s own advantage (Merriam-Webster). A person, who tends to manipulate is more concerned with gaining power and control. Caring for other’s needs is not essential to them in that present moment.
It is a control tactic that is commonly used to fulfill the ego and starve the soul. After healing and recognizing my own darkness. I realized that I had a habit of manipulating spiritually, mentally, and emotionally in a settled way. Many of us judge those who display their sins in public, and we call them stupid, unworthy, and horrible, but we always seem to deny pointing the finger at self.
Matthew 7:1-4, “Do not condemn others and God won’t condemn you. God will be as hard on you as you are on others! He will treat you exactly as you treat them. You can see the speck in your friend’s eye, but you don’t notice the log in your own eye.
There are many of us committing sinful acts like manipulation either behind closed doors or in a settled way, where no one is conscious enough to recognize what it is you are doing. When you been deprived of your own essential needs you begin to find a way to get your needs met by any means necessary. I was a manipulator when it came to situations and circumstances.
It wasn’t really people because I did not like the feeling of that, but the situation and circumstance I thought I could control because I was tired of going through the same things repetitively. The funny thing is that I was not learning the lesson that was needed for me to continue along with my life purpose, in which I blamed everyone but myself. This happens when you have not recognized your true self-power. I had a perfectionist issue, so manipulation played a key role in creating the image I thought would look good in other’s eyes.
So, I would manipulate for my wants without being conscious of doing it. Once, a shift happened in my life I no longer desired or felt the need to make people, place, or things work for my greater good. I recognized later that I was doing God’s work and no longer my own. God had already organized things according to my life’s purpose for things to work out for my greater good, so there was no longer a need for me to control things around me to avoid pain and suffering. The more I experienced pain the more I gained more wisdom, knowledge, peace, breakthrough, faith, and love. Now, I know how to properly release it.
Manipulation is a sign of witchcraft because you are using your own understanding to go against God’s plan for your life, where not all pain is meant to destroy you. When your life has been filled with so much pain and despair. You are unable to tell the difference. Therefore, it is important for us to stay connect with the Lord always to ensure we are heading in the right direction for self.
Some pain is meant to crush you in a constructive way, where God will build you back up stronger than you were before. Giving you a new mind, body, soul, and spirit. The interesting thing is that we disown God when pain comes into our lives and wonder why he is. I know some women, who are a part of certain prestige clubs and sororities they explained the hazing process to me. It is meant to mode the person into an image of the prestige club or sorority.
I do find it interesting that those who are a part of any prestige club, sorority, or fraternity should be familiar with the hazing process, where they understand the concept of “crushing season”, in which it is to break the person down and build them up. If we can accept it from humans; why haven’t we accepted God’s crushing season and give him credit for the spiritual concept that he created that many of us have adapted too.
The only difference is that God uses the concept for our great good, where he sends encouragement, wisdom, and knowledge along the process to keep you moving forward. God knows and understands the process of crushing the icky things within by placing you in circumstances that you would avoid. Crushing season helps us to get rid of our own desires that lead us to manipulate and adapt to God’s understanding of peace, love, joy, and self-controlled.
Spiritual manipulation is a common one that women tend to use. My family favorite one was telling me how God thought of me when I did things that went against their religious views. This would make me feel guilty in doing what they felt was right in their own understanding without understanding the bigger picture and figuring if God was still in the same era they are living in.
The story about Samson and Delilah (Judges16, KJV)is a perfect story about spiritual, emotional, and mental manipulation, which is a common story we hear about today. Samson was a powerful man, who was connected to God to overthrown the Philistines because they controlled Israel. Samson was strong and fought his enemies by himself with his powerful strength. God wanted Israel to gain back its independence and freedom back, so he had Manoah and his wife birth Samson to help Israel to do so.
Samson married a woman from the Philistines, who later pressured Samson to tell her the answer to his riddle so that she could save her family from the Philistines. The Philistines threatened to kill her family if she did not get the answer to Samson’s riddle that he made up. Samson left his wife once he found out what she had done.
Later, Samson meets and fall in love with a woman named Delilah, who was asked by the Philistines to ask Samson what his weakness was so they could kill Samson. Samson has killed most of their men. The Philistines promised to give Delilah 1100 silvers. Delilah asked Samson three times before he revealed the truth. Delilah persuaded Samson to lay his head on her lap as Samson confided in her and told her all his weaknesses, so she could receive her money.
Samson’s hair was his strength, and cutting it off would help him to lose his strength and power to fight against the Philistines like he did in the past. Delilah called the Philistines in to capture Samson as they cut his hair, while Samson laid her lap with comfort. Samson was captured by the Philistine and his eyes were taking out. The Philistine praised their false god (dagon) because their enemy was defeated. Samson served Israel for 20 years.
Samson and Delilah is a perfect story about manipulation because it touches all the different forms of manipulation, where the Philistine used their spirituality (false god) to receive what they wanted and what they felt they needed at the time, Fear was their motivator, control was their goal, and manipulation was their tactic to help them to win victory. Emotional manipulation was used to when Delilah leered Samson into a room, where he later shared intimacy with her, where he later revealed to her what his weaknesses were.
Mental manipulation was used when Samson’s wife pressured Samson through nagging and complaining about not knowing the answer to his riddle that he told a group of Philistine men (his enemies). Men do not like to be nagged and listen to constant complaining. Samson’s wife had no concern about the well-being of her husband. Samson’s wife used mental manipulation to save her family from being killed.
I have found many women who tend to use to spiritual and mental manipulation especially when it comes to picking the man of their dreams, creating children, having their children live out their dreams, not allowing those around them to live out their life purpose because it goes against their beliefs of how they envisioned the life for self and others. It makes me wonder all the time if men really invented fairy tales or not because it seems like us (women) are the only ones who truly buy into that perfection and safe me story.
There are a lot of women, who do not know God. So, they manipulate, lie, and link up with darkness to make their man, who does not belong to them stay. A man who is meant to be in your life will stay when God knows you are ready to receive him. This process called life can be difficult Suh, but many of us are not willing to go through the process or wait because we feel we have suffered enough with experiencing the many losses without our permission.
Our feelings have been abused. Our children have been dying. Our families have been broken apart and our men have been killed, destroyed or stolen from us. Many of us are tired of experiencing constant pain and suffering so we adapt to concepts like manipulation to push us forward. Taking every opportunity given to us. The world has taken our power for so long and many women are searching for a constructive way to win everything back. Suh, manipulation is not one, but prayer is. Deep prayer, where chains are broken and intentions are built.
Many women are guilty of using manipulation a lot to create the life they desire, which is built from all the things that were not given to them and they felt they deserved. The desire to create their own life is built from failed circumstances and situations. The desire perspective comes from the unhealed hurt and insecure girl within looking to be saved from all inequalities from this world that the world holds against her. Since the world stole so much from her such as her innocence’s, emotional stability, protection, her family, and her ability to create her own family (Conception).
We now have a long list of hurt and unhealed women looking to gain control and power to stop the pain and create the life they know they deserve whether other’s like it or not. Many are on the right track, but their intentions and tactic are adding more pain into their life. This leaves another door for the enemy to continue to divide and conquer, which is a common tactic used among humanity. So, Suh my best advice to you is to link up with God and continue to embrace your crushing season. Move on from all the tactics that once served you to get things you desire within. Heal because a “better” you looks good on you boo. Sending love and light your way because God’s way is the best way for you.