I battle with making the right choices all the time. I am aware that the choices I make will influence my present and future. Thinking about that concept can produce anxiety, but then I know and recognize that God is on your side. The odds can never be against me. I used to walk around with a large R and G on my chest. The G did not stand for God but it stood for Guilt. The R was not for righteousness, but it was for regret. Now, guilt can be advantage to bring forth self-awareness to your wrongful choices, but guilt can also be a disadvantage when you attach it to your identity based off the choice you made. We all make choices every second of the day, but there are many choices being made today among our society based off of ego.
The ego brings forth fruit of self-seeking, revenge, judgement, ignorance, fear, power, pride, hostility, complaints, reputation, separateness, jealousy, materialism, fakeness, and past/ future orientation. I guarantee that any choice you have made in your life with any of the ego characteristics, I am sure the choice lead to you later learning a big lesson.
The unfortunate part is that not everyone is fortunate to live to tell what they learned from their choices that were led by their ego. Not everyone can come to terms with their egotist choices and be able to develop consideration for others based on how much their choices had an impact on others. Those who can speak need to begin to speak for the healing of others around you. As we all know, I use to believe I was perfect; which is also an egotist characteristic because you believe that you can never make any mistakes. Pretending to be perfect goes along with ego because you walking around wearing a mask and believing the mask you have on is your actual identity.
I have made countless choice lead by pride, fakeness, judgement, fear, revenge, self-seeking, etc. To be honest, I have probably made choices based on every ego characteristic there is. I know how it feels to walk around with guilt and regret because you wished you would have made a different or better choice than the one you chosen. I am currently learning how to not focus on the destination but embrace the journey of life. I still find myself relapsing moving towards habits that will benefit me in the long run to conforming back to bad habits.
When I end up in a situation or circumstance that I know I should not be dealing with or I have gone through before. I take time to re-assess what choices I am making in my life. Recently, I made a vow to myself that I would focus more on the present moment. God has an interesting way of testing us to ensure we are sincere in our choice to change our life for the better.
The moment I made the choice to embrace my present moment. Things at work began to get laborious, it was the month of October so birthdays were celebrated at work and in my family. I was also trying to manage my own goals and emotions. The way I am describing my story may not seem so bad ; but I am trying to give you all an example of how to embrace your choices so you will not lose focus due to the details of my story. Life was becoming too chaotic for me. I had to take ownership over my choices because I allowed myself or others to push me in a rushed and fast direction. My choices almost lead me in the wrong direction that I worked so hard overcome.
I can be ambivert, which is when you are both a introvert and extrovert. I lean more on the introvert side thou. My quota with being around others and speaking with others has its limit. Due to self-awareness, I could recognize that my quota from being around others had reached it tipping point, and it was now time for me to act to recharge my energy.
The true test was figuring out how to stay in the moment without getting overwhelm myself to the point, where I would get burnt out (Compassion fatigue). I manage to do the best I could with what I had. I also discovered something about myself in the mist of it all. I able to live out the change I hope to see in my life when things were slow and going well; but when things are not going well in my life. I tend to fall back into bad habits, which would probably be the best time to implement the change I worked so hard establish. The trying situations and circumstances in life is the test. It’s test to either promote you to change and its test to for you prove to yourself and God that change you chose to make has manifested into your life. Once, again the choice is yours.
So, the true test was how would I function in trying situations that gave me the most anxiety, stress, or disappointment. Since, I was also practicing how to sustain self-awareness. Being self-aware to what was going around me and prayer kept me stable in the chaotic times. I noticed it was the energy of my resilience that kept me moving, while recognizing that certain trying situations or circumstances were orchestrated for my good since I made the choice to change my life for the better. The energy of resilience showed up when I spoke positive affirmations to myself to ensure that I could overcome any challenging situation that could help me to grow more into my higher self and prepare me for what is to come. I had to recognize that the trying situations were there to strengthen me, which allowed me to embrace the choices I made.
I know, I have experienced the most guilt and regret when I made choices that I was not present for; which meant that I was either living in the past or the future of my life. The interesting thing is neither of those timeframes were in existence at the time. I noticed that I was making choice based off illusions that I told myself that were real in the present moment. I held on to guilt because I knew better and I would hold on to regret because I wish I had known better at the time when the situation or circumstance occurred.
The fact is that I was holding onto should’ve, could’ve, and would’ve in my life that I thought at the time would protect me from making bad choices in the future. Holding on to should’ve, could’ve, and would’ve of life kept me stuck, where I was unable to move forward with anything new in my life due to the fear of making the wrong choice again. I found a good quote on Facebook from Pastor West that said, “One thing I love about God is, He’ll bring you out of situations you got yourself into; and still not hold it against you.” Those are profound words that describes God’s grace upon our lives, which corresponds to learning to embrace the choices you make. We were never meant to hold on to guilt and regret as if those were out names. We are more than conquerors, we are champions. Who can bypass anything we come against with the help of God.
I recognized I still have control over my life even when life was not feasible. I could either make a choice to flourish from the situations or decrease and give up. The energy of resilience allowed me to gravitate to the energy deep within to finish the tasks at hand because I made the choice not to give up. So, the moral of the story is the way to embrace your choices in life is to become more present in the moment, allow self-awareness to direct you from making the same choice from the past, and allow the energy of resilience deep within to push you not to give up even when life gets hard because you know that the odds are never against you when God is on your side. Plus, the seed of creativity is developed when we learn to embrace the good, bad, and the ugly choices we make in life.