An important trait for all relationships to have is to sustain its connection is trust. When trust is broken, it is hard to sustain the bond. It is hard to rely on whether the person’s intentions for you are good or bad. There so many people bleeding and looking to be healed. They are walking around bleeding on others. The blood that many tend to carry is contaminated with hurt and pain, in which they tend to pass on the same hurt they obtained through the same situation they endured in the past. It is usually haunted memories of their childhood or adolescent stage of their life.
Remember what I told you that trust and disappointment is the main factor that many are broken. Distrust in relationships opens the door for triggers to occur in your life. Healing is an ongoing process. An emotional trigger is a not bad thing, but it can be bad if you chose to ignore the feeling that was sent to set you free. An emotional trigger is a signal letting you know that something within you needs to be released. Usually, it is released in the most common way, which is violent. It is shown in the media all the time.
An emotional trigger is an intense and negative reaction in someone. Symptoms of an emotional trigger usually occur as a warm sensation in the chest, head, and stomach that is led by anger and frustration. Heart beating fast, sweating palms, and racing thoughts is another factor. An emotional trigger tends to make you feel very uncomfortable within.
The first thing you tend to do when you are unaware of what an emotional trigger is to repress the feeling by using your favorite coping tool. Many rely on illicit drugs, alcohol, or other substances. Food, working, exercising, shopping, sex, cleaning, etc. are more examples of what your coping skills maybe. If you do not rely on your coping skills to relieve stress; then you probably release your emotional triggers by swearing, cursing, yelling, and being aggressive towards others. I am guilty of reacting in both ways, which is why I felt it was necessary to write this blog post.
Repressing the pain of the past does more harm than good. Yet, many continue to do so including me because we are convinced that it is a healthy way of living. The trigger effect in relationships is a cause that happens, in which it is a consequence of an action or cause. When I was unhealed, I came across co-workers who reminded me of my Mother and my significant other reminded me of my Father. Those were the main places, where I received the most triggers, which was my work relationships and intimate relationships.
I needed to heal from the cohesive family unit I always wish I had. I grew up in a single-parent home and I went to school with other children, who had a two-parent home. I needed to heal from growing up in a broken home. I was constantly reminded of the pain whenever I came across those relationships in my life. The time had come for me to accept was and what it is currently. It was just time for me to let go of this fantasy that never came true.
What I have learned from the trigger effect in relationships is that not all triggers are a result of the reality placed in front of you. Sometimes the situation is a perceived obstacle. Perceived obstacles let you know that situations may form but you are healed from the pain that once allowed you to snap, swear, and explode. You have grown. This is something you should be glad about. I saw a quote on Pinterest that said that “life is “10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.” At the end of the day, it not about the situation that ignites the trigger but the battle is how do you respond to the situation. This demonstrates true growth.
I have faced many trigger effects in all sectors of my relationships that lead me to act out of character because I convinced myself that I wouldn’t miss another opportunity like I did before to defense with my ego. Later, I figured out that I had missed out on an opportunity to heal and strengthen myself spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I am not sure about you, but I do not want to waste time on missed opportunities. Here are 4 way to survive the trigger effect in relationships that will bring forth harmony and connection:
1.Sit Still and do not React
You cannot run-pass your problems because your problems are too fast. They will always catch up with you. It is best to face your problems once they head your way. It is an easy statement to write, but it is hard to put into action. Problems are like bullies, the more you run from them, the more they will torment you. If you face and fight with integrity, you will begin to see your problems float away.
When your problems ignite triggers, it is normal for them to feel more powerful than you can handle. That does not mean that they are. If you could feel the trigger, then you have the strength you need to endure the pain. Sit still. Do not react. Fears tell you to react right away before you can register what’s really going on in front you. It best to sit still and call on God to fight your battles. I guarantee you will every battle if you allow the Lord to fight for you.
“He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”
2.Assess the Situation
Don’t get me wrong, our six senses such as touching, hearing, vision, smell, and taste. All are helpful, but they can be deceiving. If you do not control your sense, then they will begin to control you. This is usually the result of an emotional trigger that occurs in relationships. You encounter a situation, where you see a situation you were in previously.
You hear the same things you once heard before. You smell the same familiar aroma and have that same nasty taste in your mouth whenever something bad happens. You may come across a situation, where you will need Divine spiritual intervention to assist to assess the triggering situation in front of you because the truth is that your six senses can be deceiving. This doesn’t mean that your six senses are always deceiving but you must link up with the Holy Spirit to know the difference.
1 Thessalonians 5:19-21, 23-24 NIV
“Do not quench the Spirit. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good,
May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.”
3.Feel Your Current Emotions
Once you assess the situation, right or wrong about your emotional triggers. Begin to feel your emotions and allow your emotions to lead you to the wounded areas of your heart. This will heal you letting you know that you have the solutions within to heal thy self in the most effective way possible. Some may need some assistance, which is ok. Once you begin to trust yourself, you will become more conscious spiritually, emotionally, and mentally of the trials you face in your relationships.
I’ve been triggered this past week, where I have been irritated with many around me. What I have noticed is that it is not always the people around me who are motivated to trigger me, but it is I who needs to stay committed to releasing negative emotions. So, I will not be ruled by those negative emotions that I chose to obtain. Instead, I am learning to allow people to be people. I have to get in the habit of accepting the good, bad, and the ugly of others, so I can feel my emotions at the moment and accept them as they are. Everything that is challenging in your perspective does not have to be a battle. Allow yourself to feel your emotions because trust it is a blessing in disguise.
4. Pray Your Way Through & Heal
God is a God of patience, truth, justice, love, peace, joy, healing, restoration, and prosperity. Once you begin to see, acknowledge and appreciate those aspects of God, then you will begin to appreciate and understand the power of prayer. Prayer is not something that you recite out of routine and habit, in which it does become. Prayer is a conversation with Jesus and God through the Divine entity.
The effectiveness of your prayers is based on your connection and relationship with God. If you increase your relationship with God, everything around you will improve. The hard part is that you must be patient enough to receive so you can receive God’s best and not your own. This means you will no longer be afraid of situations that may promote emotional triggers because you trust God to heal your pain and destroy the daunting things that may haunt you.
James 5:16 NIV “Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
Whenever you use your gifts to testify God’s goodness in your life. You will be delivered from all the inequities of your past. Raise up and get close to God today. He is not a chore but he is your Heavenly Father who shows more love than anyone can near you. You are spiritual being living a human life. Do not become a slave to your emotional triggers, which causes you to live in fear and distrust. Go out and be your live and loving self. We need more light in this world. God bless!