WisdomWednesday

Evolve Emotionally: Do not Allow Others To Project Their Guilt onto You!

One issue I have experienced a lot with others is carrying the weight of how others treat me and calling it my problem to solve and deal with. Reality check: Carrying the guilt of others for their actions towards you is very toxic trait, but yet so much of us do it.

What I have learned is that some people will make you feel like you are bad person based off the mistakes they committed towards you.

  When people have invested so much time in their reputation and building their self-worth based on other’s opinions and praise.  They will try to destroy your reputation before theirs is ruined. Some people can dish out negativity well because there is no emotions attached to it,but as soon as the negativity is dished to them. Then there is a problem or war for many.

It is hard for that person to let go of their pride and hold themselves accountable for their actions. What I have noticed is that people will make out you to be the person they are, so they bring the attention off of themselves.

Don’t get me wrong, I have done my own share of dirty and bad mouthing people I should not have done. I had to owe up and admit I was wrong because I value relationships more than my pride.

The holidays are here and gone. To  be honest, there are a lot of unsolved emotional issues. So many would rather buy love than to own up to their mistakes.

   This blog post was needed to help others to heal from their emotional triggers than to go to war over them. At the end of the day we are all growing, but it takes Some to grow up a bit longer or slower than others. Here are 4 signs to look for when others try to project their guilt into you.

1.Slick (sarcastic) Comments

   One way to protect yourself from slick remarks from others is to ignore, stare, flip it with a positive remark, or my favorite bust out and laugh. Many people know that if we say anything with a slick and sarcastic tone. People will get upset and those who want to project their guilt energy on will succeed to do so.

   No one wants to sit with guilt, so it is more easy to project a slick comment than to deal with the guilt within. Since many will result in anger, frustration, and disassociation. Those who feel guilty will manipulate themselves into thinking that they had every right to do what they did you because of your reaction to the slick remark they said. Convincing others that they wrong about you.

Luke‬ ‭6:22‬ ‭NIV‬‬, “Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.”

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    Don’t worry thou because slick remark is a test of your ambience and test to see if really changed as individual. Many people do not care for change overall, and their first reaction is to complain. You survive the test. You will be able to see the change you prayed. God wants to know if you are ready to receive, which also includes the good, bad, and the ugly. The question is are you?

2.Cold Shoulder

  Showing the “cold shoulder” is showing deliberately unfriendliness towards a person. Well, being honest those who feel guilt about their actions in the past will show just what is described above.

Cold shoulder is also rejection, where people will not treat you with a lack friendliness and avoidance. When people prioritize their ego over empathy towards others.

  They will show unfriendliness towards with hopes that you will leave the scene or event. Those who use to functioning and like dealing with drama and trauma wounds do not want to deal with anyone who is has joy within.

The reason being is because you are against what pride toward which is life cannot change. The way you handle is be okay with being by yourself or enjoy others who enjoy you. I’m sure someone will embrace you. God will endure someone does.

   In this moment, don’t hold grudge for the one who is charge causing other to shine a you the cold shoulder.

Luke‬ ‭6:21‬ ‭NIV‬‬, “Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.”

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   Pray for them and treat them with love anyways. Be kind to yourself because their is nothing you can possibly do to please or change the person. God can change them. Give hugs and kisses to them anyway.

  It is the opposite of what they expect. This is a test to see if you are really capable of and committed to showing more grace towards others than those around say you can.

3.Ignoring your Current Existence

  This is my favorite one because people will see you coming and ignore your very existence. I usual laugh and roll my eyes because I know someone is playing a childish games. When children, need attention and love.

They will do anything or get your attention even negative behavior to see if you care about them. Now, children are expect to act like that, but adults? I have learned yes adults too.

  Especially when you are dealing with people who enjoy drama and trauma wounds. The reason is because they have not healed so hurting child has not either, which why they handle such matters as a child.

  They have not grown within. It’s ok. When you understand that, you are able to let go of the frustration and show more compassion towards them.  The guilt is hurting more than you can understand. The only way to handle it until they heal is to ignore your very existence.

It okay, the reason being is because you are being tested on effective you are able to raise above the confusion and disrespect of others. Whether or not will you allow it to effective your character and your heart.

Luke‬ ‭6:29-30‬ ‭NIV‬‬, “If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.”

   When you truly value God and yourself, you are able to decide what situations deserve your attention and what does not. This action may sting a lot but that does not mean your reaction needs too either. True power is controlling your emotions and not allowing your emotions to overpower you. If you have to remove yourself from the situation and pray to move forward.

4.Not Including You In The Celebration

   If you remember as children, there was always moments on the playground when others participated in a game and left you out it.

   Another scenario is when it was indoor recess and others would play a board game of your favorite and not invite to play. In fact, they would tell you that it is not enough room for you.

   Yup, there we go …another triggering moment. Especially of those you love and care about. This could be just my experience, but many of you understand the scenarios being explained.

People will not invite you for whatever reason once again, remember these are people who thrive off drama and inflect trauma wounds. I know I use be them also. The last thing you can do is give them what they want by infecting atmosphere.

   We must get in a habit of letting people deal with their instead of projecting them onto you. Get your power back grasping compassion towards the person. You will know that those who are healed who no time for childish behavior, but those who still have unhealed little girl in them will.

Luke‬ ‭6:31‬ ‭NIV‬‬ ,”Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

At the end of the day, all of your trials were set up for you to passed. Because the situation came in your path let’s me know you have enough God, willpower, and common sense to take on challenging situations. Hold onto your integrity because it will save you in situations like this. Teaching you how to protect yourself in challenging moments. Walk up straight because you have God in your side leading the way for you.

Proverbs‬ ‭10:9‬ ‭NIV‬‬, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.”

  Integrity is helps you to stay grounded in your morals and principles within God and yourself.

Keep doing you boo. Shine your light and be you because everyone else is taken. Celebrating challenging times by praising God because you definitely have blessing on the way.

  I do not about you, but no one is that important for me to miss on blessings and rewards. People believe they are in charge of themselves with no God involvement, we all will have that humbling moment that tells us that we are not “God”, but we are made freshly and beautifully in his image.

Luke‬ ‭6:23-26‬ ‭NIV‬‬, “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets. “But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort. Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep. Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you, for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets.”

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If you are a person who needs to vent like me. Vent to God I promise it will save so much time and drama explaining your intentions and heart. God knows your heart, but people are always re-elevating your intentions.

  Let people be misery while you continue to choose to be beautiful and humble. We all make choices. The sad part is that many choose misery company or rejoice company. Make your choice today and stand in integrity to push you through. You got this. Happy New Years 2020 will be great to you and yours. 

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