There are so many relationships currently ruined because small circumstances developed into big situations. This occurs pretty much everywhere, and no one wants to talk about it. We would rather gossip about the situations or jump to conclusions about it. This occurs pretty much everywhere. Well, in this blog post will we will hold the conversation about principles in relationships.
We would rather gossip about the circumstances that left us wounded than to find a solution to the situation so we can heal and move forward. There are people who live by principles and there are people who live by laws and values. We must take into consideration that not everyone has been raised and taught what true values in a relationship should look like or demonstrated properly.
This generation grew up in broken homes such as single-parent homes, dysfunctional two parent homes, and abusive households. There are a large number of individuals who were left to raise themselves and the society failed to take care of them. Whatever environment many grew up in, society can see the residue that the past generation left to the next generation. You can see that many in our generation lack the principles there is to keep a healthy and sustaining relationship.
We are so used to others mistreating us and abusing us that we cannot seem to understand why someone would want to treat us good. People treat other people like obligations instead of priorities, which makes sense because we treat ourselves as a burden. Sometimes it’s not about the situation that occurred the relationship, but it is the principle that was broken, which lead to the dysfunction in the relationship. The principle is a fundamental doctrine, truth, or accepted rule of action or conduct. Many are unaware of the principle in relationships because many lack the character it takes to keep a principle held at its highest functional state.
Our generation admires everything fast and easy because we were raised that way. Many made it acceptable for us to win, but no one told us how to be a functional loser. Now, we have a generation who do not know how to process their emotions effectively, but they know how to sell their souls for objects that they will outlive . Who am I kidding? People have been breaking principles in their relationships for generations, but our generation is the first generation to hold the past generation accountable for their actions. This is shown through the reaction of others when a crisis occurs.
A common statement I hear a lot is that “These kids are just too much. They do not listen and they act like they know everything.” This is just my belief, but children could be children if we decide to be adults. I have seen the children be both the parent and the child, which is exhausting just thinking about it. Principles have been broken because from the perspective of everyone nothing is black and white anymore. Everything is gray. No one can keep their word because of many value reputation verse integrity, reputation verse creditability, or reputation verse character. Look at yourself and ask yourself which concept to you value more?
Truth be told if you do not know God. You will not be able to recognize or be able to distinguish what principles are and how they should be used in the relationships near you. I did not develop true character until I gave my life to Christ. I did not know how to keep my word and I did not stay consistent with my word. The interesting thing is that I expected everyone else to do so.
Everything was left to how I felt, in which I lacked self- disclipline. I let others misuse me, in which I thought it gave me more power to misuse them. I was always looking for fast gratification and was attracted to anything and one who gave it to me. I wanted to feed my ego verse starve my soul. Feeding my ego left me to break principles in relationships that kept the relationship in a dysfunctional state. Broken principles in my relationship to living a life that lacked truth, purpose, and fulfillment. It’s all about these four principles at the end of the day:
1. Luke 6:30 CEV, “Give to Everyone Who Asks and Don’t ask People to Return What They Have Taken from You. (Be Considerate)
It is hard for others to be considerate of other’s property and personal space. Many do not understand the concept of giving and not expecting anything in return. This is a principle that many have a hard time obeying. I am guilty of this action. I would give to other, but I would expect something back from them especially when I asked for it. Sometimes God allows you to bless others, but he will bless you through another person, place, or time.
This is the reason why you must be open to expecting the new because God is always willing to do a new thing in our lives. We must open to be receive it. We must also be considerate towards other’s time, family, emotions, and the things they worked so hard for. I did not say please people, but take other’s situation into consideration. This is where you take the effort and time to be others at a thoughtful and sympathetic regard. Consideration requires you to give and you must be willing to let go of what you decided to give away from the depth of your heart. This principle prevents you from being selfish.
2. Luke 6:31 CEV, “Treat Others Just as You Want to Be Treated. (Overstepping Boundaries)
This is a fundamental rule I learned in kindergarten, but it is also a rule that many are unaware of. The interesting thing is that many people do not treat themselves right. How can they treat others good when you do not treat yourself well? People must understand what effects self also affects others. Treating others badly will cause you to miss out on blessings. No one is worth jeopardizing what it is that God promised you. Self-worth, self-love and respect are necessary to assist you in how to treat others properly. When you feel good about self, you feel lead to treat others the same.
Many people have an issue with overstepping boundaries in relationships. Boundaries are meant to fix the limits of a dysfunctional cycle that stops the relationship from progressing. To establish healthy boundaries in a relationship, you must be willing to tell others who you are, what you want, and what your limits are. You must be willing to teach others what healthy boundaries are by leading by example and not with your words. Actions speak louder than words, which is another fundamental rule. This Principle helps you to live a life full of abundance.
3. Luke 6:37 CEV, “Don’t Judge Others, and God Won’t Judge You (Be Respectful)
Have you ever heard cruel words from someone who pierced your soul? I know I have. Words can kill the soul if you allow it too. Since many are aware of who they are and the power they hold. Words are doing more damage than they should.
They allow the words to destroy their entire future because they believe the things they are unable to do because someone around them are too insecure to believe in themselves. Do you see how each principle correspond to one another? I used to enjoy judging others to prideful to admit my own flaw that it was easier for me to crowd around with other insecure people and trash someone else’s name. Being honest with myself, it never felt good to do so. I was just too insecure to stop at one point of my life.
What good does it do for you to judge others based on their actions? Judgment from another human being prevents us all from being who we are called to be. We fear scrutiny more than God because many of us do not know who we are in Christ, but we know who we are people’s eyes. Since we face people every day, many tend to fear what is around them.
The interesting thing is that many cannot see what is near them. We have people making money off this principle, in which it is hard for many to see what the issue is. Open your mind and respect others not because they earn it, but they deserve it. I have placed my mouth on people and things that were probably of the Lord’s and I ended up in the situation that I judged so badly. I lacked understanding and God granted me knowledge. So instead of judging me, God gave to me so I can as person. What you speak, you will sow either through self, family, or businesses. This Principle teaches us not to envy others, but be inspired at the end of the day.
4. Luke 6:27 CEV, “Love Your Enemies and Be Good to Everyone Who Hates You.” (Be Meek and Kind)
Jesus proceeds to tell us that we must ask God to bless anyone who curses us, and pray for everyone who is cruel to us. (Luke 6:27-28).
Gosh, this is a hard thing to do especially when you are wrapped up in your emotions. The question I use to ask was why must I love my enemies when they are looking to destroy me? This is not fair, but it is fair. You stop others from doing more harm to themselves and harm to others.
This is where you have the opportunity where your developed character through Christ is tested. The sad part is that many are unable to focus on the bigger picture that the end up doing the opposite of what they need to do. Common Sense tells us that we should not love anyone who does not love us. Right? This needs to be shown through actions and not words. God is a spirit of unconditional love, where he shows love and mercy towards others who do not know him, understand him, despise him. At the end of the day, it is all about character with this principle. God teaches how to forgive and let go of the hurtful things that others can do and will do. This principle teaches us how to live without resentment and to live with courage.