I am always pushing for self-love, but being honest with myself and you all. Self-criticism and self-judgment tends to take over when things in my life are not going perfectly or when I do something wrong. Self- criticism is when you judge oneself. Self-judgment are thoughts that we hold about oneself and those thoughts are attached to emotions such as anger, bitterness, depression, anxiety or etc.
Self-criticism leads to self-judgement and self-judgment keeps you bounded. I can always tell when others are ruled by self-criticism and self-judgment when I hear them gossiping or judging others based on their looks, behavior, and actions consistently. The criticism and judgement they hold against others, they also hold against self. I know because it was me and sometimes it still is. I am evolving from my old habits and beliefs. Thank God.
Many people think that to create change in a person, they must point out the flaws of the person for change to occur. This tactic has been pass down from generations to generations. Being honest, most of the change that occurred in the past within myself was through that very same tactic that I am currently speaking about. Even though, I changed, I carried anxiety, deep pain, deep sorrow, deep anger, and deep bitterness from quite some time because I was forced to change too soon.
The more I felt unworthy, the more I gravitated to self-criticism and judgement. I had to ask myself, did change really occur or did I adjust my actions to please love ones? Being honest, I adjusted. A lot of the judgment and harsh criticism I faced growing up I kept within, which lead me to project the same behavior of criticism and judgment on others.
Within this past year, I found myself coming across a lot of people; who have a history of passing harsh judgment or criticism toward self and others. Their criticism and the judgement are so harsh to the point that it will not stop until things around them are perfect and begin to flow in a specific order. I begin to realize that the critical and judgmental people around me reflected self. I was attracting who I was. It was another opportunity for me to face ugly side of self.
Coming across critical and judgmental people was aggravating me so much. Facing those people left me feeling that nothing I do will ever be enough. It hit me in the car driving home while driving home that I have made others feel this same way that they were not good enough. I have few people in mind, who I made feel as such. If you have a big heart, it hurts when you receive conviction based how you have treated others in the past. What many do not know is that you treat others the way you treat yourself. That why God says love your neighbor as you love yourself. (Matthew 5:43-44). If you are so busy judging others and criticizing their every move, then you are guilty of treating yourself that way.
God was giving me exactly what I was dishing out to others, whether it was family, friends, spouse, and co-workers. Yes, I have been dealt some hard cards, but I truly believe it was because I put my mouth on situations and people who I was not supposed too. The judgement I carried about other’s behaviors, actions, and well-being was either from learned behavior of others or the constant chatter I spoke about self on continuous bases. No one likes to be judged that’s why we have so many people walking around with anxiety, fear, doubt, stress, and you name it. I am sure most of it must deal with hearing the harsh criticism or judgment from others that they believed about self. Here are three ways to Overcome Self-criticism and judgement:
1.Speak Life to Yourself
Positive affirmations are important. It is important to speak life into your very existence because it brings light to your thoughts and helps to relieve the self-criticism and judgement that lies within. Positive affirmations speak life to your very existence releasing you from pain and sorrow. I am strong advocate for positive affirmations and in fact they help fight about self-criticism and judgement I face with self time through time.
Self-criticism opens the door for low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence in self. It stops you from moving forward and evolving because you always have the constant chatter that “ you are not good enough.” If you are not hearing you are not good enough then you believe that lacking or losing anything makes you an insufficient person.” These are all lies.
God tells us that we are enough and trust in him,
Proverbs 3:5 CEV, “ With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgment. “
Not everything we tell ourselves is true, yet in many cases we believe so. That is a sign of arrogance. We can be our worst enemy, but must learn to be our best friend. Supporting self when no one else does especially when God is doing a new thing in your life.
We must learn to fix our attitude about the life we live. I feel my generation (Millennials) and Generation Z may have a hard time obtaining a positive attitude because the life we were told we could have does not seem much promising or guaranteed. This can leave many feeling hopeless and depressed, where they attached themselves to a dark cloud. This is when nothing in your life will seem to change or get better. This concept is not true and leads to self-criticism and judgment.
Obtaining and sustaining a positive attitude requires constant connection with God and Angels. The test will come to test you to see if you can obtain and sustain your positive attitude in pressuring moments that will give permission to act otherwise. Positive attitude is also related to your heart posture, which will prove if you can pass the test of obtaining and sustaining your positive attitude. It will not be easy, but the best things in life are not. Are you fit to pass the test so you can overcome self-criticism and self-judgment?
3.Attract What You Are (Positivity)
I mention before that we attract what we are whether it is positive or negative energy. Obtaining and Sustaining a positive attitude opens the door for positive energy to step forth into your reality. When you hold a positive attitude towards self, you will begin to manifest positive energy for self. This gives you the opportunity to spread love, light, and peace to others.
Matthew 5:16 CEV, “Make Your light shine, so others will see the good you do and will praise your Father in heaven.”
Self-criticism and judgment is negative energy that is attached to negative emotions that were produced from the narrative you told yourself when you endured a challenging situation or circumstance.
Matthew 7:1-3 NIV, “ Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay attention to the plank in your own eye?
Overcoming self-criticism and judgment opens the door for more self-loved to be produced in your life. When you begin to profess more self-love then everyone around you begins to win. This ushers in positive energy that the world needs. You are finally in the position now to spread the love, light, peace to this world that it needs. Go ahead and release self-criticism and judgment and open the door to self-love for the benefit of self and those around you.