Having the ability to stand your ground in life, whether it’s personal or professional is very important. Standing your ground gives you the ability to protect what is yours. We live in society, where our eyes are deceptive to what is good in this world. We believe that what is good for others must be good for us also. Having that perspective allows us to miss out on what God has for us. Having a perfectionist issue, I use to want good in my life so bad that I would want what others wanted also.
I carried a heart wrapped with barbed wire for years. I would tell myself repeatedly that I would not allow my heart to feel pain anymore, so I wrapped it up letting just enough love in to get me by. Since allowing barbed wire to be wrapped was not the essences of my spirit; life gave me more situations and circumstances that would later influence me to capitulate to God’s demand. I walked around with an S on my chest, thinking I was winning against those who wronged me and life.
When life left me, I found out that I needed to love to receive what I needed back. Having barbed wire across my heart placed limitations on my mind, body, and soul, but it was also created as a protection for me from experiencing that same hurt I felt previously. I didn’t have room to love God, myself, and others the way I needed too appropriately. I was much like the others in (more…)
I have spent countless years searching for someone to accept me for who I am. That is where people pleasing came in. I felt that if I gave my all to my relationships with people. I would finally receive the acceptance I always desired in my heart.
After being lied on and facing my name and my character being scrutinized and contaminated in a public work setting for child abuse. My past of childhood trauma of verbal, emotional ,sexual, physical abuse ,and seeing domestic violence threatening my future. I was facing financial issues.
If you love her, treat her well. Makes sense when we are talking about being in a intimate relationship, but can we apply that phrase to self ? I would define Self-Love as liking and accepting oneself for who they truly are soulfully.
God kept reminding and showing me for years that I was operating in two different dimensions. I could not figure out what the two were until two months ago. He revealed to me that I was battling between the ego and the soul.
Four years ago on Tumblr, I fell in love with a quote that said “ Starve the ego and feed the soul!” It spoke volumes to me. The only problem was that I was unfamiliar with how to starve my ego and feed my soul.
Two months ago, God brought that same quote to me I seen on Tumblr to me again. It helped me remember what I was fighting, and I began to explore the aspects of the two terms.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Ego as the self especially as contrasted with another self of the world. Freud describes the ego to be the psychological component of the personality of a person that’s driven by our conscious decision making. Many would also consider Ego as Pride. The characteristics of Ego are serve yourself, seek gratification, believe that life is a competition, preserve yourself, looking outward for answers, having the feeling of lack, mortal, drawn to lust, seek wisdom, and seek to be filled. The keyword for ego is me. (more…)
I’m from Milwaukee, WI like other cities in United States; where peace is an expense rather than a necessity. Having peace is not the norm but blending with the crowd is. The crowd is not in the best shape, but many would rather choose to follow what they see than what they know. The norm is being chaotic and peace is being abnormal. The energy is thick. That same thick energy described is what followed me daily.
Between working, going to school for my masters, completing internship hours, attending to my client’s (youth) needs, planning and facilitating a girl’s group, healing spiritually and mentally, attending to my family’s needs, attending church, trying to stay consistent with my destiny, and attending to my partner’s and I personal tests and trials.
Women are biologically nurturing and caring, but it is emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, and financial pain that steer women away from our biological instinct. Hurt leads us down a road of bitterness, greediness, stubbornness, selfishness, anger, depression, pride, and envy.
For those who are inspired by us, look for the comfort, nurture, and support that we naturally bring to relationships. When we are not in the position to do so, our incapability to give our gifts leads to those we inspired by us to stray in a direction that leads to more pain and sorrow. Now, we have transferred our same sorrows and pain to those that need us and who are apart our lives.
People pleasing is something that many people suffer with. Many of us suffer from this every day as far as saying yes to things when we really want to say no. Pleasing our supervisors, co-workers, and managers to keep our jobs. Pleasing people at church and the pastor. Especially when it comes to our family members, who wants to say no and not prove our loyalty?
People Pleasing produces the feeling of wanting to be accepted, loved, appreciated, validated, and acknowledged to the point where you want everyone around you to feel happy. It is not until you get to the point in your life when you are dried out like a prune from being abused and misused. No one to turn too when you are in need of help the most.