I spoke about suffering from people-pleasing in a previous blog post, but this time I want to talk about suffering from the fear of lack and loss. Fearing lack and loss involves being fearful of losing or lacking people, place, or things in your life. If lack and loss is a part of life then why is it so hard to accept lack or loss when it occurs in our life?
Why do we feel that having everything will bring us more happiness, more fulfillment, and more peace in our life? If you have suffered many losses and lacks in your life, you may try to control everything around you or refuse to embrace anything that comes to you. Suffering from the fear of lack and loss stops you from living in the present and it steals your joy. It distracts you from the miracle in front of you, and it gives you permission to operate less than your true self.
In order, for change to occur the old must leave for the new to appear. Suffering from the fear of lack and loss makes you believe that living with both the old and new is necessary and possible. It forces you to want more and overwork yourself to gain more without appreciating the miracles and blessings you currently have. The fear of the lack and loss allows greed to knock at your door and gluttony to peek through your window. It seems no matter how much you have you always find some way to be dissatisfied. It is not because you don’t appreciate the people, place, or things. It is because your fear of lack and loss is so deep that you have adapted to the concept that nothing lasts forever so why enjoy?
I suffered from fear and lack and loss for most of my life. At one point, I was threatening with so many losses in life that I felt I had to control every aspect of my life. I have mentioned before that I do not like losing or lacking in anything; I always sawed this concept at bad. If it were up to me, I would take everyone and thing who I came across my life path with me. I focused so much of my fear lack and loss that it kept me limited with my beliefs and my ability to progress in all aspect of my life. I always felt that my life was not sufficient or perfect enough for me to be happy. Everything needed to be perfect and everything needed to be planned properly for things to work out.
Suffering from the fear of lack and loss allowed me to face my fear countless time. It allowed me to hold onto this insane concept that living with this fear was protecting me from losing and lacking people, place, or things in my life. It took me a while to recognize that living with this fear was an issue. Even though, I thought that it was the only way to live.
My fear had gotten so bad that my mind was constantly racing and my focus was always on the past or the future. For some reason, I had convinced myself that my best moments were always behind me or in front of me. I felt that my best moments were never a part of my present moment. For some reason, I always had a vision for my best moment to appear differently. I was stuck on a fantasy that could never exist. For many, this may not be a problem, but it is because it allows you to swipe pass your life asking yourself where did time go.
I began recognizing that my fear of suffering from lack and loss was an issue when my peace was disrupted by anything in life that perceived itself to be a threat of me facing another lack or loss in my life. When that moment arrived, I tried everything in my power to change the outcome to my desire. After countless times of losing the battles of not having things go my way and hurting the ones I loved. I grew tired of my fear, constant worry, and anxiety that I knew I needed to change. Here are 3 things that suffering from the fear of lack and loss taught me:
1. My Life Required Me to Live With Balance
Becoming comfortable in my skin and embracing the change of living is what I learned while trying to overcome my fear of lack and loss. Living with this fear allowed me to depend on worry for most of my life. Since I relied on worry when lack and loss occurred, my emotions and thought process were unstable. I handled most of my battles with rage, fights, gossiping, and cursing other’s name.
Living with unstabled emotions and thoughts makes you tired, weak, and feel crazy. I recognize that I was operating less than my true self, I was not respecting and loving myself in those moments that allowed me to step out of my character. If I wanted more love and respect for self then it was time for me to begin to find balance within. Finding balance within self requires staying connected with the Lord and learning to become comfortable in your skin with the good, bad, and ugly of self. Finding balance within also requires you not live with any regrets from past mistakes or shortcomings. At the age of 27, I just starting to feel comfortable in my shoes, where I begin to trust that whatever is for me will either be or not. Understanding that people, place, or things are all a part of my life’s path here on earth, where some are meant to teach me lessons and others may be blessings. Either way, all thing will continue to work out for my greater good. Finding balance with self gives you the freedom you need within to let go of the fear of lack and loss.
2 Timothy 1:7 CEV, “ God’s Spirit doesn’t make Cowards of us. The Spirit gives us power, love, and self-control.”
2. I Needed More Help With Learning How to Love
1 John 4:18 CEV,“ A real love for others will chase those worries away. The thought of being punished is what makes us afraid. It shows we have not really learned to love.”
I realized that when I was operating in fear that I had no space for love to exist in my life. Love and Fear cannot co-exist in the same existence. They are in opposition to one another. Suffering from the fear of Lack and Loss revealed to me that love overpowered fear. Many are scared of operating in love because we are so hung up on the feeling of love. Love is an action, where many aren’t willing to put in the work to love including me. I am not the best at loving others including myself. Thank God, I have him by my side to help me along my life’s journey. God is love and he is teaching me how to love as he loves you and me.
When I was choosing to live with fear, I was also choosing not to accept God’s love and grace for my life. I mention that the fear of lack and loss steals your joy, but God’s love restores it. I had to make a decision as to what did I want to partner up with. It was time to move on without fear and choose love. That was a hard battle to fight. Many say Love hurts, but fear does too. In fact, Love liberates while fear deteriorates. The issue is, not many understand the concept of Love, but everyone knows about fear. It’s broadcasted everywhere.
I chose Love because I am in love with the one who created it-God. I am learning that it is not about receiving the feeling of love, but it about loving others as you love yourself. Suffering from the fear of lack and loss revealed another moment that I was struggling with self-love; which was opening the door to more doubts and lacking self-confidence. Loving God and myself allows me to move on from fear. Love gives me more room to love myself with having more patience with my spiritual growth, more kindness when I am being self-critical, protective by setting boundaries, learning to trust my intuition, hopeful for better days, and leaning on perseveres for the seen and unseen.
3.Learning Not to Take People, Place, or Things for granted
I would complain a lot about other’s taking me for granted or weren’t appreciating my worth or my love. The reality was that I wasn’t appreciating or recognizing the love I had surrounded by me. Most of the time when you are insecure within the self that you cannot seem to understand why others love or care for you. You tend to project your own insecurities or fears out on others.
Most of the time, I did not recognize that I was taking advantage of others because my mind was operating in both the past and the future. I was taking advantage of others because I wasn’t allowing myself to embrace and appreciate the time right in front of me. My concept of time has always been disheveled. I believe it because I was always functioning between two dimensions. I would not allow myself to feel my emotions or embrace the good, bad, ugly in the present moment. I told myself that those moments wouldn’t last so why bother.
I was allowing my fear to overpower a possible favorable or desirable circumstance. This example reveals that our true-life miracles are happening every day we wake up, eat our favorite food, give love to those we love, and create memories with those surrounded by us. I feel the best way to stop taking advantage of other’s time, presence, and love in my life has become more present. Life is about changing your perspective. You can conquer any type fear in life if you learn to adapt to the things you cannot change, become more fluid with your thought process, and open to the fact that life will happen whether you like it or not.
Isaiah 41:10 CEV, Don’t be afraid. I am with you. Don’t tremble with fear. I am your God. I will make you strong, as I protect you with my arm and give you victories.”
Suffering from the fear of lack or loss was a blessing in disguised because it taught me to appreciate the small and fine things in life that money cannot buy like true love, true faith in God, true peace, true joy, and true hope. All of the aspects listed above will help you to rise above and unfold another layer of life lessons based on the circumstance or situations you face. Just because you are suffering doesn’t mean that suffering will not strengthen you. Allow yourself to grow and push fear away.