I am a rare black woman. I use to remind my ex that I am not your average, which is true. See everyone is looking to put me in a box but I am just too damn good to be placed in a box. People try to place me in a box so they can know how to treat me. I am a teacher to myself. Mainly to self because I am walking through this tunnel trying to escape anything that once held me back from showing up as my true self.
My words will heal your spirit. My essence is so gentle and bright that it makes you ecstatic that gentlewomen still exist. My heart is sensational because she envisions love and peace for everyone because this black woman knows it’s possible.
See, others try to place me in a box, counterparts, peers, family members, and loved ones. I am a black woman that cannot be categorized because there are too many elements of self that makes me too damn distinct. I am every woman (Whitney Houston) because I can find a connection in us all.
I have a soul that cannot be reciprocated. A spirit meant to recast the trajectory of what a black woman can be, how she holds herself, and the many different aspects of how she can be viewed. Others get pissed at me because I cannot show up who they want me to be. But I made the decision to show up who God called me to be.
Many may laugh, start rumors, and create diabolical lies but how can they stop me when I am showing as me. Their cuts and dugs are what makes the crown around my head shine.
Helping me to strip the particles that no longer resonate with who I am. Letting me know there is value to this thing placed so imperfectly around my head. If it wasn’t, then why they wouldn’t work so hard to tear it down.
See, I had to excuse the terms that were meant to be embedded in my soul and initialed perfectly on my heart such as bitch, black bitch, selfish bitch, crazy bitch, slut, “she think she all that”, controlling,ugly, fat, stupid, two-faced, and “big-headed”.
I had to learn not to identify myself to those terms that did not correspond to the meaning of my name. I am not my pain but the pain will be used to shape me. I am not my suffering but my suffering did help to transform me. I am not my sorrow because the sorrow was meant to bless me.
My name means strong. The words listed above aren’t associated with strong. Instead, I chose to attach the true meaning of who I am which is Love, peace, special, optimistic, understanding, gentle, truth, weird, and assertive. I don’t take no ish and I can feel and smell deceit when it is coming close to me.
Whatever you feed will begin to grow. I decided to feed myself things that nurture my mind, body, soul, and spirit instead of harm to my mind, body, soul, and spirit. That speaks for words, food, and media content. The world is doing a great job at it already, but it doesn’t mean I had to play a part in it. Everything that’s out there is not for me and I have a say so in what I need or want.
God didn’t give me a mouth to keep it shut all the time, he did not give me eyes to see the worst in others, or ears to enjoy listening to the worst in others, or hands to take and tear from others.
I had to make the choice if I was ready to descend or transcend. Transcend was the option I chose because I was affected by everything that was happening around me negatively. Something needed to evolve if it wasn’t the things around me then I knew it was things within instead.
I had to own my ish anytime obstacles were heading my way. I cannot stop what happens to me but I can own my part in the story. I am no longer a black woman with tunnel vision self, which means I no longer hold it for others. There is not just one part of me that speaks of who I am but it is the many different elements of self is what makes me—me.
Since I know that, the first question I always ask others is how they are you? I am more concerned about their well-being versus how much they make and where you come from.
We all come to a place of hurt, pain, sorrow, joy, peace, and love. I like to connect on those aspects because those are aspects that make such a beautiful being.
So the purpose of this blog post does not allow others to hold you up to the tunnel vision of who they hold themselves to be, or images that are portrayed on television. Be you, stand on your truth in a loving, genuine, gentle, compassion, and positive way.
The problem today is that many are forcing others to commit to their truth but the unrealistic thing is your truth may not my truth. It is okay. Our life experiences and perspectives also make us the individual we are today. We need to learn how to accept that. When we have not accepted ourselves, we can expect others to do the same.
We do not have to agree on the same thing to connect but we do need to be heading in the same direction. In America, we all look, act, smell, present ourselves differently. People are going crazy trying to make everyone the same. The one thing we agree on is freedom, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.
The problem that we have a group of people trying to force the public to believe in their truth when they have not got to point to accept their own. Which is why we may have cross each other’s path to teach each other the true meaning of living as a human being not who is right or wrong.
We are meant to learn from one another not control one another. Why do you think that polar opposite attract? We are meant to learn from one another and evolve. My truth is my truth by I have consideration of how my truth may affect others. I cannot please others but I am meant to serve others with respect and boundaries.
I can only speak for myself in this matter. My book (mind) is always open and ready to learn…the question to ask self is is yours ready to learn? Or are you okay with the tunnel vision that you hold for yourself as much as others do?