There’s a saying that says “Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you. This phase is a myth. There is no such thing. Words can hurt deeply especially by those who we love or from strangers. The best advice given to face the obstacle is to defend yourself by ignoring or fighting but does that really help? Many are stressed and walking around with anxiety trying to figure out how to change other’s perspectives about self.
I would like to say it is a woman thing but I would be lying. It’s a human thing. We all do it one way or another as we bash one another. I am currently working towards forgiving those who lied, created fabricated realities about me or cursed my name. I am also choosing to forgive so that hope can be restored back in my heart for humanity as a whole.
I know I shouldn’t care but being honest with myself I do care what others think about me! It’s not at the point of pleasing anymore but it’s more of a fear of being the reason another person needs to heal due to my actions or words. This is a vulnerable moment for me because I would like for my ego to kick in and tell you all those words don’t bother me. I would be lying to self, which will also keep me imprisoned to other’s perspective about me.
I’m speaking from my spirit, where I know admitting the truth about self manifests self-respect. This also produces self-love for who I am regardless of what others say. Sometimes I believe it’s not just what others say that hurts but it is the angle they come from! What I mean by this statement is that if you can feel other’s intentions, you can feel their motives if you are conscious enough. I tend to ask myself why am I so subjected to other’s thoughts, words, and beliefs about self?
When you have a caring heart and your intentions are in a good space. It’s hard for you to understand the reason people do the things they do because you wouldn’t do it. Or you haven’t admitted to self that you have done it before. Since I’m going through a transformation stage in my life, where I am unlearning most things I was taught growing up. God is placing me in situations and circumstances in life, where I told myself that I couldn’t handle. God is proving me that I can and that I am unstoppable when I am linked with him.
Psalms 37:5 NIV says “Let the Lord lead you and trust him to help.”
God is showing me just how to allow him to lead me in situations I thought I needed to physically fight my way through with my mouth or hands to overcome the battle.
In the midst of it all, I discovered that God allowed me to experience countless lies, rumors, and manipulation from others because he was showing me how others are a reflection of self when he and self-love are not involved in my life. Experiencing this demonstrated to me how to show grace towards those who wronged me. Does this process hurt? Yes, because it’s destroying all the false imagery placed in my thoughts produced by self or others.
I was at work in a meeting, when I found myself putting up my defense mechanisms. I was beginning to hide who I was once again to make others feel better about themselves. I began to ask myself why am I so willing to allow others to feel better about themselves by sacrificing my wellbeing for the sake of others.
Galatian 5:14 NIV Says “All the law says can be summed up in the command to love others as much as you love yourself.”
Sacrificing my self-love for others is an expensive price that I am no longer willing to pay for. The reason being is that Jesus died for others and me so We could be free from sorrow, pain, and darkness. Giving me the power to shine my light. Those who chose to indulge in such behavior of tearing others down whether it’s subconsciously or consciously, don’t have enough love for self so they believe that tearing others will make their light shine more.
It is an immature concept to hold onto because it does more harm to self than others due to karma. I also began to discover that I was so subjected to other’s thoughts, beliefs, and perspectives about me because I was still allowing the old habit of letting the “insecure girl” within to use people to feed her ego of who they thought she was. People will treat you based on who you think you are or what you think you deserve. Everyone has a purpose but those who chose to tear you down most likely do not know theirs. Show grace for them because they are still searching. Ensure to place boundaries.
I later began to understand that growing up I was taught to survive in this world, but I was never taught how to love self despite my flaws and all. I painted the imagery that perfection =Love for self. I never allow myself to love self because I thought I needed to be perfect to do so. That’s forgiveness right in the nutshell!
I was raised by a group of individuals that gave me the right tools to survive. It was not until I decided to walk with God, that he began showing me how to love self despite all the rumors, lies, and fabricated realities that people make up. His word about self is all that matters. The lies, rumors, and fabricated realities are all meant to distract me from my purpose, which is running away from the light and moving towards darkness. The more I evolve I will continue to face those who will try to tear me down but it’s my job to show them who’s the God I serve.
This is done by allowing God to order my step in this world, which will allow me to sustain self-love and share more love to others! We must continue to allow us ourselves to stay connected to God so that we can always see the bigger picture when issues arrive! Believe today that you are more than what others say you are.
Raise above because many are still figuring out who they are. You are more than what others say you are! You are Love, peace, and joy. I hope you chose to walk in it all, where you will learn to lead by example.