We currently live in a society, where we like to place the blame on everyone who hurt us or wounded us badly. We allow shame to steal our joy, doubt to steal our peace, worry to steal our power, and we allow fear to control us. All in which are meant to destroy us!
I’m guilty of allowing all of those vices to constantly withdraw from my account within until life left me in a negative balance. It took me to have a negative balance in my bank account for me to listen to God speak. My account had overdraft because there were too many withdrawals in my life and not enough deposits.
I allowed shame to hide me, doubt to discourage me, worry to steal the present moment, and fear to rob me from blessings in life. All of those vices were attached to earthly material possessions that I became obsessed with buying to dull the pain.
Buying food was comfort when worry came, clothes was my comfort when shame arrived, buying unnecessary gifts for others came when doubt appeared, and unplanned trips became necessary when fear told me “don’t fight but flight. Don’t face but run!” If it wasn’t people that were withdrawing from my account within; then it was fear coming to control me, doubt coming to steal my peace, shame coming to steal my joy, and worry arriving to steal my power.
Matthew 6:25 CEV, “I tell you not to worry about your life. Don’t worry about having something to eat, drink, or wear. Isn’t life more than food or clothing?”
See, I was once a people pleaser; where I had grown accustomed to allowing others to make constant withdrawals from me. I watched everyone move ahead in life, while I stayed in the same place of being wounded, unhealed, and undelivered.
I watched others to begin to live a better life from wisdom that was given from me. I watched others gain confident in their own ideas from encouragement that was given from me. I was still left struggling to embrace my own ideas and trust my own encouragement. I invested a lot in others, but for some reason I always forgot about self.
I would blame everyone for the mistakes I decided to make out of my own inequities. I had also became that person who allowed others take advantage of me when it was necessary for their life. I also allowed others to only make room for me in their life only when their life depended on it.
Ecclesiastes 11:10 CEV, “Rid yourself of all worry and pain, because the wonderful moments of youth quickly disappear.”
Change was near and if I did not recognize I was my only limit than all of my youthful (joyful) moments will continue to be stripped. I was choosing to give my own power away when it was not necessary. I began to understand that I had the power to teach others how I deserved and needed to be treated. People were going to treat me only in ways I allowed them too. That same concept also went for family members.
Unfortunately, people don’t come with a manual; so there are no set of instructions given to one another when we meet someone. All we have is time, trial, and error. God will shine his grace on our life with this factor considered.
I needed help all my life and I decided I wanted to be who I never truly had in my own life. Someone who understood me and was reliable all the time. Sounds familiar? My relationship with others was a mirror image of my relationship with God.
I began to discover that my own expectations were not measurable. What I wanted in life were all shaped from my vices and pain in my life not from my true self. I was doing some mindfulness coloring when God spoke to me through my adult coloring book with a quote that mentioned ,“You are your Only Limit.” It hit me deeply within due to the accuracy of the quote. I wasn’t other people, who were my limit, but it was self. The universe allowed others to treat me less than what I deserve, so that I would began to rely on God’s courage to accept only what I deserved in life. It was time to say goodbye to fear and shame!
Joshua 1:9 CEV, “I’ve commanded you to be strong and brave. Don’t ever be afraid or discouraged! I am the Lord your God, and I will be there to help you wherever you go.”
The funny thing was I knew I was my own worst enemy and critic. I walked around clothed in judgement, sorrow, and pain. I did not feel safe and I allowed my negative thoughts to correspond to what I was feeling. God allowed the universe to continued to let me know that it was time for me to surrender who I was and began to become intimate with the person I was becoming.
Job 34:32-33 CEV, “Then ask him to point out what you did wrong, so you won’t do it again. Do you make the rules, or does God? You have to decide— I can’t do it for you; now make up your mind.”
It was hard facing this unfamiliar person. It was so hard that I would run back to who I was use to being when circumstances in life became challenging. I learned it wasn’t other people that I should be mad at, but it was time for me to take accountability for my own actions. People will only treat you in a way you allow them too, which is based on how you display yourself to others.
For example, whenever people would insult me or criticize me by forcing me to do something. I would feel obligated to do what they said out of fear of losing them. Do you see how fear controlled me and kept me bounded to accepting less than what I deserved? What I displayed to others was that I was available all the time and that my life revolved around others and not God. God needed to be that main deposit in my life that I needed to focus and invest more time in because my life and well-being depended on it.
Luke 12:11 CEV,”When you are brought to trial in the synagogues or before rulers or officials, don’t worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say.”
When it came time for me to detach myself from old habits, thoughts, and people! I felt the urge to let others know what journey I was on, but this journey was meant for me. This journey was meant to respond only with my actions. I was walking on this journey to follow the Holy Spirit with hopes of gaining more deposits in my life in return.
2 Timothy 1:7 CEV, “God’s Spirit doesn’t make cowards out of us. The Spirit gives us power, love, and self-control.”
Learning and recognizing that I was my own limit in my life; allowed me to gain confidence where shame once lived; peace where worried was welcomed ;couraged where fear hunted me; and mental strength where doubt once appeared.
I pray my story will give you inspiration to conclude being a limit to yourself and your life. Only you know the change that needs to happen within; only you can embrace the person you need to become; and only you can teach others the true way you deserve to be treated. Your life has meaning no matter what your circumstance looks like. You must believe.
2 Thessalonians 3:5 CEV,“I pray that the Lord will guide you to be as loving as God and as patient as Christ.”